I don't currently feel that I am comfortable with the "Quagan" label. I don't feel that I fit in anywhere spiritually, or even want to - but my beliefs remain powerful. I just don't fit in with any of the "clubs", and I don't believe that I ever will.
I am very sad to announce that we lost Sparkey budgie today. I don't want to discuss it, as I have kind of done that already, with a few friends on Facebook. I don't have the emotional strength to "go there" again.
I suppose I just felt that it was time to "check in" again - update this increasingly neglected spiritual blog of mine.
I am not leaving the flat at present, or talking to/dealing with anyone, apart from Colin - except for online (Facebook, etc), which is my lifeline. This has been since the start of November, or at least that was when the "final crash" came. I talk more about this on my other blog: www.paulablogaboutnothing.blogspot.com. I don't really use the blog.com one much anymore, which was my original "general purpose blog". Anyway, I did at least manage to stand outside today in the back garden, and watch my husband bury our feathered baby. That really is a big deal, too - which demonstrates how crazy the situation has got! I know that I need to break the cycle and, once I do, hopefully...I just wish that my tummy problems would improve as those, combined with the mental health issues, seem to conspire to stop me breaking out of "my own cell", as Alanis describes it in "These Excuses".
Anyway, sending love, peace and blessings. Thank you for reading this. xxx