Thursday, 10 November 2011

It's been a year...

and I don't forget.

I looked up Stacey's Facebook page.  It's still there.  I started to look at it.  I don't know, it doesn't achieve much now, to look.  It just hurts.  I miss her so much and I have regrets.  I don't really know if I've written too many poems about her.  Is it too obsessive?  I don't know.

It is weird that Stacey died the day after Colin's birthday and a few days after my own (and so much was happening to us on that same day last year - ie: marriage nearly breaking up...)  Stacey's elder daughter told us a month and ten days later - ouch.  I don't know how I feel about anything anymore, and 2011 was such a difficult year, in just more ways than I can express.

I only met Stacey in 2008.  I wish that I'd met her sooner.  I wish that I hadn't found it so hard to get out and about and see her once I finished at the hospice shop.  I wish that I'd done more, in so many ways and on so many levels.

But I know that life is eternal, and I feel that Stacey is still here with me.  I can't say too much more.  I guess that I've said enough - probably too much, knowing me.

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