and I don't forget.
I looked up Stacey's Facebook page. It's still there. I started to look at it. I don't know, it doesn't achieve much now, to look. It just hurts. I miss her so much and I have regrets. I don't really know if I've written too many poems about her. Is it too obsessive? I don't know.
It is weird that Stacey died the day after Colin's birthday and a few days after my own (and so much was happening to us on that same day last year - ie: marriage nearly breaking up...) Stacey's elder daughter told us a month and ten days later - ouch. I don't know how I feel about anything anymore, and 2011 was such a difficult year, in just more ways than I can express.
I only met Stacey in 2008. I wish that I'd met her sooner. I wish that I hadn't found it so hard to get out and about and see her once I finished at the hospice shop. I wish that I'd done more, in so many ways and on so many levels.
But I know that life is eternal, and I feel that Stacey is still here with me. I can't say too much more. I guess that I've said enough - probably too much, knowing me.