Feeling spiritually lost

I always feel low, and spiritually confused, at this time of year.  :-(

I have been reading a book on Buddhism, which is interesting and inspiring, but it can be hard to hold the ideas and positive energy in my heart and mind.

I will leave it there for now.  Don't forget to check out: www.paulapoems.blogspot.com and http://paulapuddephatt.tripod.com/poetry.

Struggling

See my other blog: http://www.paulap.blog.com/.

I have also been updating http://paulapuddephatt.tripod.com/poetry.

I have been researching the goddess Ariadne online, to some extent - interested initially because of her apparent influence on the poet Sylvia Plath.

I still pray to Rhiannon, when I can motivate myself to do so, and I did use my fairy oracle cards again yesterday.  The "Be Yourself" and "Pregnancy" cards came up again - plus a birthday related one and it is my birthday on 6/11.  I do wonder where the fairies are coming from.  It is getting very hard to "keep the faith" right now.  I feel so sad and unstable.  I also have ongoing physical health problems, still.  But see my other blog...

Poetry and my past

A while ago, I started writing this long, rambling confessional poem - about stuff that happened in my life twenty years ago - and I went back to it yesterday, but it hurt so much.  I had to hear "End of the World" again - and "Foolish Beat", although I listen to Deborah Gibson regularly anyway, so have kept listening to that.  I can't explain the significance of the songs, not without opening the whole thing up again, and I'm not ready.  I'm going to come back to the poem.  I know my limits. 

Anyway, I've shared the two videos on this blog.  I don't know if I should be sharing music on my blog, as I'm not sure if there is any sort of maximum on megabites, etc - but I wouldn't have thought so - and I really needed to do this.  I don't think that my old Sonia tape - if I could find it at all - even plays anymore - so really You Tube was my best bet for listening to the song.  I know that "End of the World" is a cover, and probably will listen to the original as well at some point, which I expect is technically better - but sometimes you really need to hear the version of a song that is familiar to you, and unlocks your own memories.  If it happens to be "rubbish pop" then so be it.

I don't know if this is exactly the type of post that I had intended to include on my "Quagan Poet" blog - probably not - but life and emotions just happen, I guess.

I had a dream the night before I started to write the poem again, and it all ties in with that part of my life.  The pain is so deep and overwhelming.  There have been too many issues and emotions which I haven't addressed.

That's all for now.  Love to you all, and thank you for reading this. xxx