I recently had a dream about two star finches. We lost our star finch, Eric, in 2010. I have come to realise that one of our zebra finches, Stuart - our longest-term, probably oldest, resident bird - is struggling. Stu's firm best friend, for years, was Eric - and I begin to see the significance of my recent dream - which did also manage to cover various other issues/factors - current worries - which I can't, and won't, discuss on this blog, or anywhere else - and it would be too hard to know where to start, in any case.
I can only say that I have changed so much inside, spiritually and emotionally, since leaving Reading in October 2000, at not quite twenty-seven years of age, with Colin, my then-boyfriend (husband since March 2001). At the moment, I feel that I have come to a crossroads, and all of the options look very, very scary and uninviting. So I am sitting in the middle of the road at present, and hoping not to get hit by just about every passing vehicle. Most won't change direction in order to avoid hitting me, so I can only jump out of the way at the last minute, or wait to be knocked down, and hope that my injuries will not be fatal.
Does that make sense as a blog post? I don't really know, but I hope that it does. I needed to at least try to express my feelings. Not an easy task right now!