Following on from my "Am I really a Quaker?" post...
So, am I really a Pagan? I don't know. I mean, for a start, I'm dyspraxic. Candle magick and dyspraxia - not the best combination. Can you be Pagan or/and Wiccan if you can't do candle magick? Well, I guess I'm not great on religious rituals, anyway - which is probably, in part, where the Quaker side of things comes in for me. This is all so hard to explain because there are so many aspects to everything, and I don't know where to start, so I apologise if this isn't the greatest blog post ever.
I believe in God and Goddess, angels, faeries, animal spirit guides - and I feel connected to The Divine in my own way, but I guess that I don't entirely fit in anywhere.
I have used oracle cards. I own Tarot cards too, but got put off early on, because the first card I ever drew for myself was The Devil, and even though I know that there are positive and constructive aspects to that Tarot card, I have such a problem with the whole Devil concept - you know???
I haven't even touched upon my experiences with the C. of E. and LDS/Mormon churches yet. I guess that I'll discuss all of that eventually. Like I said, it's just so hard to know where to start - it really is. But I want to do this - and I kind of need to do this, in a way. I just feel like this is the direction I'm being drawn towards. I've been so inspired by other Quagan blogs, and if reading my ramblings can help even one person to feel less isolated, then it will be worth it.
Is there anyone out there - anyone at all - who has ever had the surreal feeling of being in the middle of a church service at LDS church, thinking about Wicca and Buddhism??????? I can't begin to explain it...
Funny thing is, it's much harder to talk about this in prose form than to write poetry about it. I've talked about it on forums, but that's different. That's so-and-so says something and so-and-so responds, but just trying to say this stuff - will I get better at this, I wonder???